What man hasn’t fantasized about meeting the woman of his dreams at his local coffee shop or watering hole? But what would you do if you actually did in real life? Far too many guys would become tongue tied. You see, confidence is not learned, it is earned! And it is earned with a man’s sweat and tears of hard work and hard play.
Men who become Pick Up Artists can usually be broken into two groups: guys who didn’t develop those social, flirting and sexual skills at an early age and are generally determining that they need to compress some several years of social education and emotional intelligence into only a few years versus those guys who DID develop those skills, but want much more of success with women.
Primarily, I will be addressing the first sort.
There’s a perception referred to as the 90/10 rule (or 80/20 rule) where 10% in the adult population do 90% of the work. Or in the field of dating, 10% of the males are “servicing” 90% of the single (and sometimes not so single) females.
This can also be applied to PUAs (Pick Up Artists) and KJs (Keyboard Jockeys). Sadly, the majority of people who TRY and get into this game simply end up being the 90% keyboard jockeys with their only goal to engage in mental masturbation. The few 10% of the PUAs who do go out, only a few them will actually achieve their goals.
It takes a minimum of 12 to 24 months to become a successful pick up artist. What then are the attributes and steps necessary to achieve that level of confidence and skill level? Let’s out shall we.
Realizing You do Have a Obstacle – This can be a toughie. Nobody wants to admit they may have a difficulty. Not a soul wants to admit that they have difficulties with women because society TELLS MEN that it’s supposed to be NATURAL. That girls will simply FALL INTO YOUR LAP like manna from heaven. Which is a bunch of crock, but it is what society programs into us. And the initial step is admitting to yourself that your particular dating lifestyle isn’t what you would like it to be. If you don’t have a problem, then you’re one of the few quasi-naturals who are in to the Game who desire BETTER results instead of RESULTS. Congrats, now move along as this isn’t designed for you guys.
Anxiety about Change and Comfort Zone – Specifically, the willingness to go outside of ones safe place. Seduction isn’t logical, it isn’t intuitive for the most of guys, and guys make the same mistakes again and again again with females. The venues that contain the very best concentrations of sexy ladies (night venues) will also be intimidating, emotional and hostile. It entails a specialized hardened mindset and determination to inure the anguish of going beyond what one is comfortable with. It’s like that very first time you visited college. Sure it was kind of scary venturing to another state or country, nevertheless , you have to do it so that you can grow as a person and acquire your Pick Up Degree.
Determination/Discipline – in order to last, you have to go out and practice. Constantly. Every week. Every weekend. One night a week barely cuts it (though it depends on where you’re starting off at too). If you’re at the newbie stage of still having approach anxiety when it comes to women, allot at least 3 nights a week. Regularly and consistently you have to push yourself and maintain a schedule that still allows you to go out, date women while juggling your career.
Learning Ability – this can actually be a double edged sword. Too much thinking and reading leads inevitably to Analysis Paralysis. Learn the material and theory, yes. Absorb it like a SPONGE because there are SO many different styles out there that you have to select and choose what you want to incorporate into your own unique skill set and lifestyle. But don’t let it overpower you in the field with all that theory.
Killer Instinct – the more I teach men, and particularly Asian PUAs, the more I realize the need for guys to have that Killer Instinct. That competitive reaction within a man which says, “I SHALL succeed. I SHALL overcome. NOTHING AND NO ONE WILL STOP ME.” It’s that thing inside you which says, “Whoa, this douche just tried to AMOG (Alpha Male Other Group) me” but alternatively of shying away from confrontation, responds with, “He’s going DOWN!” It’s that athletic love of competition, when two teams face each other on the battlefield and who channel the nervousness, anxiety, and fear into adrenaline and LOVE of the competition and LOVE of the Game.
Time Dedication – it takes, on average, TWO YEARS for someone to become a COMPETENT (not good, but average) PUA. That’s right, TWO WHOLE YEARS. Or, if you want to reframe it, it takes you two years to get your Bachelor’s of Pick Up Artist Degree. In order to get your Master’s, you need probably four years of training, education and field work. Obviously, your mileage may vary depending on where you are in life and how much time you can devote to it, but Pick Up is NOT a magic pill. You won’t become good overnight. It takes time, dedication, and determination to stick it out through thick and thin.
Love of the Game – what’s going to enable you to last will be the Love of the Game. That sense ENJOYMENT when it comes to flirting, socializing, seducing and sarging. That RUSH each time a set goes well. That sense contentment while you’re out together with your friends and merely ENJOYING the moment, the surroundings, but most of all, the PEOPLE.
Dealing with Failure – successful people and PUAs can’t dwell on failure. Learn from it. Think about it after coming home from the field. Ruminate on it. Let it marinate for a minute. Wallow in the rejection. Even EMBRACE it. VENT if you have to. Then… DISCARD IT. You’ve learned, you’re still alive, it’s time to move on. Never dwell on failure, just on what YOU CAN DO BETTER.
Well, there you have it for the time being. It’s not the full list by far and away, but in my opinion these are generally some very important qualities that the burgeoning Asian PUA needs to have. I’ve come across a great deal of newbies get all excited that they can now successful attract and date women, just to become flustered by how much hard, constant work it truly is… like exercising.
Most newbies go on a HONEYMOON period straight after a boot camp where they are able to SEE that social programming together with the “Code of the Matrix” that underlies every man/woman interaction, the principles of attraction and why they’re the way they are. But following the first month or three, they drop out simply because he can’t handle the lifestyle, the time commitment, combined with the harshness of reality.